This is the first of a three-part series on how I learned to get along with my children. And it all started when I was still pregnant with the first one, who would eventually become my oldest child.
You can also read selfish father quotes and learn how to deal with selfish kids. I’m not the only one who has learned these things, of course, I just thought it would be helpful for you to know what I learned from my mother about getting along with children.
It’s easy to get caught up in the moment and lose your cool, but taking a few deep breaths can help you stay calm, think more clearly, and be patient with your children (and yourself). It will also help you be kind and loving instead of angry or frustrated.
Put on a happy face.
When I was growing up, my mother had one rule that I think applies to any situation: always put on a happy face. She believed that it was important for me to enjoy the process of being a mom and taking care of my kids, even if it meant making sacrifices or doing something unpleasant. The more you show your children that you’re having fun with them, the more they will want to be around you and allow themselves to feel good in your presence as well.
So when my daughters were little and they wanted to have play dates with their friends or do things like go shopping together (which was never a favorite activity of mine), she would tell them how much fun she thought it would be for all of us, a kind lie if ever there was one.
She did not want them thinking about how boring these activities might actually be for her; instead she wanted them focused on having fun together as a family unit, the way our parents used to say “Happiness Shared is Happiness Doubled” when we were young.
Listen before you lash out.
I know it’s hard to stay calm when your child is yelling or crying, but it’s important to take a step back and listen before reacting. This allows you to better understand their point of view, which will help you in the long run. If you’re listening closely, they may even surprise themselves by realizing that they don’t actually need anything from you after all (or at least not right this very moment).
By listening first, then asking questions and clarifying issues as needed, we can avoid jumping straight into problem-solving mode without getting all of our facts straight first.
Don’t take it personally.
It’s easy to take things personally when you’re dealing with your children. When they are being difficult, it can be hard not to feel like they are purposely trying to aggravate you or even just being mean. However, if you look at the situation objectively, you’ll realize that often times their actions are not directed at making you angry; they just want attention and sometimes they don’t know how else to get it than by doing something annoying.
So the next time one of your kids acts up in public, don’t immediately assume that he/she is being mean or trying to make a scene (even if he/she is). Instead, keep calm and act like an adult by maintaining a positive attitude about yourself in front of others even though things may seem stressful for awhile; this will help prevent other people from getting involved and making things worse.
Lighten up and have fun.
Here’s another thing I learned from my mom: lighten up and have fun. She was always laughing, joking around and having a good time with her kids. While I didn’t realize it at the time, I see now that she was teaching us how to get along with each other in a playful way.
She also taught us that we couldn’t have fun if we were always being too serious or rigid. When you’re having fun with your kids they are more likely to be cooperative, open minded and flexible when it comes to rules or expectations.
So go ahead, lighten up and have some fun. You’ll discover many things about yourself as well as your children through this process.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this look into my mother’s wisdom. She is a great example of how to get along with our children, and her advice has helped me through some tough parenting moments. If you want your kids to listen, try following these tips.